Last night, I could hear my recently turned 4-year old son crying. He was crying in a way that I had never heard him cry before. As I’ve held space for people over the years in my workshops, retreats and online courses, I can sense right away when someone is releasing something very deep from their soul.

His cry was different to his usual cries of when he has hurt himself, is overtired or isn’t able to get what he wants.  This was from his soul and it was a release of very old material.

What was even more interesting was that usually he runs to me immediately when he is upset, but this time, I could feel he wanted his own space to process this. He was just happy to be in my Office and purge. His soul knew exactly what was happening and what he needed to do to heal.

I came into my office and found him watching a video of a sad and lost little puppy who was lovingly being carried in a Dump truck back to her Mother. The puppy then began suckling from the Mother’s teat. The music in the background of this video was very sad and added to the sad mood of the video.

I knew instantly, that he was healing and purging his own Separation wound. I’ve been aware of this wound within him and have taken things very slowly in relation to him being anywhere without me. When I attempted Steiner Kindy last year, I got a phone call saying that he was basically crying for the entire 90 minutes and that I should come and pick him up. When I asked him why he was so upset, he told me that he was afraid that I was going to die and never come back.

We have had many past lives together where that was the ending; I died and he was left without me. So the memory is imprinted in his soul and he hasn’t yet healed that wound. He hasn’t been back to Kindy yet as I wanted to ensure I moved at his pace and that he was ready.

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Last night, I knew that the healing had begun for him. He was watching this 2-minute video on replay and must have watched it at least 12 times. Each time he watched it, he just bawled his eyes out, purging this deep pain from within his soul. I just held space and held him and allowed him his process. It touched my soul so deeply.  

Andreas has grown up around both his Father and I processing our emotions in front of him and explaining what is happening and that it is a good thing and so I believe that what happened last night was a combination of that positive conditioning but also divine timing and his soul being ready to begin healing this wound.

The interesting thing is that nowhere in this current life has Andreas had the opportunity to experience Separation. We had a home water lotus birth, had the first 40 days post birth with just his Father and I at home cocooned in love, carried him often on my body and I still co-sleep with him now.

And until recently, where I stayed away for two nights, I’ve never even been away from him on my own. He was four by this point. I’ve been really conscious to parent in a way where he felt connected, safe, and felt my loving presence. I was intuitively aware of this need in him and so have done my best to meet this need.

When I discovered our past life history in 2020 from working with a friend of mine who is an Akashic reader, how I was intuitively parenting him all made so much sense. So I am certain that his Separation wound isn’t from this life, and it’s not ancestral; it’s from his previous lifetimes.

I also find it non-coincidental that I only healed my Separation wound a few months ago. Something I've noticed with my clients or partners I've lived with is that as soon as I heal something in myself, it brings about the healing of that frequency within the people close to me. I've seen this happen so many times now that I know with certainty that the cause was me healing my own wound, and this then supports the energy in others to also shift. When we heal ourself, the world around us heals. 

So as Andreas was processing, I simply offered my loving presence. When our children cry in this way, that is all they need. We don’t need to say too much, except to validate what they are feeling. Like, "Honey, I can see you’re feeling very sad right now. That is absolutely okay. Just feel and release your sadness and Mummy is right here with you. If you want a cuddle I am here.”

It might take 5 minutes, or it might take an hour. However long it takes, just be with there with them and hold the space. The result of this is that your child will feel so deeply seen. This leads to natural self-worth; the internal feeling that they are loved and ‘enough’ no matter what they feel or do. It also increases your bond with them as they feel a deep level of emotional safety with you and know they can come to you when they are going through something.

It is our children being seen and held in their emotions which provides the healing they need so they can heal as they grow and release these old pains from within their soul. Then, hopefully, if we parent in this way, they won’t have to go through all of the healing that we did as adults.

Our children are gifts for us and as a parent we have a great responsibility to meet their needs to our best ability. The more we are able to hold space for our own Inner Child and pain, the more we can do this for our own children.

If you haven't seen my FREE Inner Child Healing Meditation, it is a guided 20-minute journey to begin healing your own Inner Child and releasing some of the repressed hurt and pain from your past.

As we heal our own Inner Child, and free up some of that past repressed material from our own body, heart and soul, it allows us to be much more present for our children. It helps us to be more capable of meeting their emotional needs and at keeping our heart open for them. This is will allow us to parent more consciously and really support our children to thrive. 

If we don't within, we go without. 

Much Love,

Tamika Rose

Inner Child and Emotional Healer & Soul Embodiment Guide

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