Dissolving My Soul's Personal History
Sep 17, 2022
Something I have not yet shared publicly is the journey I've been on the last 5 years. I would like to share this in order to inspire anyone who is on a healing journey that wishes to come home to their true self.
It is a journey from darkness to light, from fear to love, and from complete disconnection into connection.
Obviously we all have our pathways home to the truth of who we are, and below was mine.
Growing up I felt different, seperate, an inner void and emotional pain that didn't make sense. I felt unsupported, alone, unable to express my true self and a constant feeling of not wanting to be here.
This led to an eating disorder, addictions and eventually becoming a workaholic...anything to help me avoid feeling my inner pain.
After being diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease and hitting rock bottom physically, mentally and emotionally, I made a conscious decision to heal myself and become my potential.
That journey literally took me 17 years.
The first ten of those years were filled with personal development and becoming qualified in many Coaching and Healing modalities including Prenatal Psychology in an attempt to heal my body and find happiness. I read all the books, delved into quantum physics, metaphysics, and epigenetics.
I was on an absolute mission.
I had an innate knowing that if I was able to heal the ROOT CAUSE, I could heal my body, attract love, and become my potential.
However after a decade of personal development, I had not moved forward at all in my soul. My mind had expanded with knowledge and information and I had build a very successful Coaching business helping others, but I still felt the same inside.
I was unfulfilled, attracted painful relationships and my health was worse than ever. I was not embodied in what I was teaching and my constant external focus of helping others was an unconscious strategy to avoid feeling my pain.
It was at this point I realised I needed to go within. I didn't know what that meant but I knew it needed to happen if I was to heal the root cause. This was in 2016.
I then stumbled across womb healing and eventually met mentors who changed my life.
I learnt how to bring my awareness out of my mind and into my body. My dissociation became self-connection. And what I found in my body, was repressed layers of emotion from my past. It was here I met my Inner Child and got really honest with how I really felt. I felt unworthy, and had enormous grief.
I learnt how to alchemise this emotional pain (trauma) and ended up healing childhood wounds, birth trauma, releasing ancestral trauma and healed core wounds that had played out through many many lifetimes.
I learnt to sit with and transmute what felt like the entire spectrum of human pain and fear. Being a scorpio moon, we feel things the deepest and darkest! So much of my time was spent holding space for and transmuting these heavy emotions through my body and heart. There were many layers to each wound.
The last five years have been me in a healing cocoon dissolving everything I am not in order to rebirth into who I truly am. I was in an inner Winter. I had to surrender to this deep pull to go inwards and trust that it was leading me somewhere good.
I healed a Betrayal wound, Abandonment Wound, Separation Wound, Guilt, Shame, and released all of the armour I was wearing that was keeping me seperate from myself, others, life, and Source.
Through my relentless determination and commitment to continue going deeper and deeper inside myself, what I ended up doing was healing my soul's personal history. I transmuted the conditioning, and core traumas from my entire past. But not without facing the deepest darkest depths within my soul first.
What this meant was dissolving the core wounds so that the surface level conditioning, protective mechanisms and connected negative patterns could dissolve.
Where that led me was home to my own soul, and home to Source and into an embodiment of my soul.
On a feeling level, it was a feeling of being free to be me and in connection with all-that-is. An ability to move through life and connect with an open heart rather than from protection or wounding.
Through that process my body healed. Any symptom I had connected to Hashimoto's healed. Although I still have a slightly out of balance thyroid on paper, i feel really great. I know there's more physical support i can offer my body and will continue to do that, but ultimately I've come a very long way in terms of how I feel.
It led to me feeling connected in relationships, enjoying connection rather than being afraid of it and an ability for authentic self-expression.
It led me to realising that I am the love that I was seeking and feeling my worth not from what I do in the world or give to others, but from who I am as a being.
it led me experience true abundance.
It led me to my vitality.
It led me to being able to experience life with ease, grace and flow.
It led me into my power and sovereignty.
And it led me to many experiences of feeling the entire Universe and God from within my own body. This led to my innate knowing that we are particles of God in a human form, here as a creator being. We are pure love, and innately worthy and good, but our wounds distort our self-perception.
Many will never reach a place where they are connected to their soul as it takes a huge commitment and desire to do so. It is the souls who are committed that I wish to work with.
I am aware that this is not the end. It is the beginning of growth in other ways; expansion of consciousness in other ways.
So although my evolution is continuing, the healing has come to an end. The pain has come to an end. The suffering has come to an end. After transmuting the heaviness and darkness, it is light that I feel.
What my journey has shown me is that...
1. We choose our ancestral lineage based upon the frequency of wounding we carry in our soul.
2. We repeat and experience similar patterns/stories throughout each life based on the frequency of wounding we carry in our soul, and will continue these patterns until we are truly ready to heal.
3. The pain we endure is perfect. We are choosing this from our higher-self because we are learning from it. My pain was so needed in my awakening and soul's evolution and returning to Love. The gifts and lessons from the darkness have been absolutely gold. Once we have received what we need from those experiences, we then genuinely desire and are ready for a deeper healing journey. Thus there is no-one to save! This includes the world. We are not here to change the world, only to awaken our own self.
4. The gold is only received once the emotions are transmuted.
5. The only way to heal is to feel. This takes immense willingness, desire and courage. The only way forward is IN and then DOWN. Ascension is firstly descension.
6. Life is the mirror of what is unhealed in us. Relationships, our body and life are the barometer.
7. Guilt causes us to over-give, block receiving love/abundance and betray our own soul in an attempt to redeem ourselves. But facing our shadow and self-forgiveness is the only true way to heal this. Guilt can also cause us to take on energies that are not ours and feel responsible and enmeshed with others leading to a lack of sovereignty.
8. Shame creates unworthiness and causes us to hide. It blocks our true expression and authentic connection in relationships. It prevents us from being seen which massively limits the success we can create in our business or life. Shame is debilitating and the only way forward is being seen and allowing vulnerability.
9. All wounds can be healed IF you are prepared to truly face yourself. This takes humility and surrender.
10. The journey of healing is coming into our wholeness and into the truth of our soul. The embodiment of our soul is an epic achievement.
11. The ultimate wound that underlies all other wounds is our separation to Source.
12. Most of our world manages 'symptoms' and does not seek to heal the root cause. All addictions are coping mechanisms of deeper trauma. We need a trauma-informed lens in school, education, medicine, and through every level of society.
13. The entire world is traumatised and this is the cause of every issue we have on this planet. If everyone decided to heal their traumas, and open their heart, we would create heaven on Earth.
14. Heaven or hell is a state of mind and can be experienced now on Earth depending on how much you have healed.
15. Nothing external can fill the void except our own connection to our soul and Source. That is the true frequency and lived experience of abundance, flow and grace.
16. Love is who we are and the fabric of existence and our wounds create illusions. To know and see and feel the Truth, one must heal their wounds and open their heart.
17. When we die, we do not become instantly enlightened. We face what is unhealed within us and carry it into our next incarnation. We have the opportunity now on Earth to be able to transmute so much if not all of our soul's history and wounding.
So as you can see my journey has been extremely deep and profoundly transformational.
My work of supporting people on the Sacred Journey Home has been birthed from my journey.
My qualifications have been helpful for sure but it has been my own achievement of dissolving my own personal history across multiple timelines which has given me the wisdom in which I hold space for and guide others from.
If you are seeking a deeper journey and are truly ready to heal and come home to your soul, I invite you to book a free consult with me.
This work will support you no matter what your current issue / challenge is from relationship to career, physical or emotional/mental.
If any of this has resonated, I would love to support you into the incredible possibilities of healing, wholeness, empowerment and magic that are possible when you embark on an inner journey such as this. It is hard to put a price on your soul's healing and the ripple effects through every area of your life, family and community.
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