Codependency, at its core, is an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person relies excessively on another for reasons that might include their sense of identity, purpose, support and emotional well-being. Though it can manifest in romantic relationships, codependency can also show up in family dynamics, friendships, or work relationships. For many of my clients, breaking free from these patterns requires deep inner work, healing of the core wounds that fuel codependency and disconnecting on the spiritual level. Doing this healing work can lead to personal empowerment, growth, and forward movement.

Understanding Codependency: A Symptom of Disempowerment, Deeper Wounds & Soulties

Codependency is often rooted in unmet childhood needs, neglect, or trauma that then allows hooks and soulties to another person. There will be a disempowered part of you that is relying on the other person for something and might believe that you need this person and cannot achieve what you desire without them. Or this person might give you something that you feel you lack within yourself. That is the lie that you've come to believe, and this is the work that needs to be done to transform that limiting belief and free yourself of the unhealthy dynamic. 

Those who struggle with codependency might seek external validation and approval because they’ve learned to associate love with self-sacrifice, pleasing others, and neglecting their own needs. This dynamic may initially provide a sense of belonging, but over time, it leads to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and resentment.

Common traits of codependent behaviour include:

• Overly focusing on the needs and feelings of others
• Fear of abandonment or rejection
• Low self-esteem or self-worth
• Difficulty setting boundaries
• Needing external approval for validation
• Feeling responsible for others' happiness

At the core of codependency are wounds related to self-worth, abandonment, and inadequacy. The healing process involves addressing these deep-seated wounds and beliefs, transforming them, and ultimately learning to prioritise and trust in oneself.

Want support in healing the underlying wounds causing the co-dependency so you can break free? Book a free consult here and begin your healing and empowerment journey today. 

The Inner Work: Healing Core Wounds

Healing from codependency requires an inward journey—one that involves recognising and healing the emotional wounds that drive the behaviours. Here’s how you can begin this process:

1. Self-Awareness: Acknowledge the Patterns

The first step to healing is recognising the patterns of codependency in your life. Reflect on your relationships and ask yourself questions such as:

• Do I often prioritise others’ needs over my own?
• Do I fear being alone or abandoned?
• Am I seeking approval from others?

Awareness helps you pinpoint how these patterns play out in your interactions and where they may have originated.

2. Identify Core Wounds

Once you’re aware of the patterns, the next step is to identify the core wounds driving them. Common wounds include:

• Abandonment Wound: The fear of being left behind or forgotten, leading to a desperate need for connection and approval.
• Rejection Wound: A fear of not being good enough, resulting in over-compensation by meeting others’ needs to avoid rejection.
• Self-Worth Wound: Feeling unworthy of love or care unless you're giving something in return.
• Powerlessness Wound: Feeling disempowerment and believing that you cannot do it on your own causing you to rely on the other person. 

These wounds are often tied to early experiences with caregivers or authority figures, where you may have felt invalidated, rejected, or neglected.

3. Inner Child Healing

Codependency often stems from unmet needs during childhood. Practicing inner child work can help you connect with and heal the wounded parts of yourself that have been carrying the pain for years. This involves:

• Reparenting: Offering your inner child the love, safety, and validation they needed but didn’t receive.
• Self-Compassion: Learning to forgive yourself for the mistakes of the past and releasing self-blame.
• Affirming Worth: Repeatedly affirming to yourself that you are worthy of love and care, independent of what you give to others.
• Download my free Inner Child Healing meditation here. 

4. Challenging Limiting Beliefs

Codependency is often fuelled by limiting beliefs such as, “I am only loveable if I give,” or “My needs are less important than others’,” or "I cannot do this on my own." To break free, it’s essential to challenge these beliefs. Begin by asking:

• Is this belief serving my highest good?
• Where did this belief come from?
• If this belief is a lie, what is the Truth?
• For example, you could replace “I need others to love me” with “I am complete within myself and deserving of love regardless of others’ actions.”

5. Boundaries and Self-Care

A key part of healing from codependency is learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries. This includes understanding that you are not responsible for other people’s emotions or well-being. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean cutting people off but establishing clear guidelines about what is acceptable in your relationships. When you prioritise self-care and emotional well-being, you break the cycle of self-sacrifice and reclaim your power.

Start small, practicing saying “no” when something doesn’t align with your needs, or communicating your feelings openly without fear of rejection. Over time, boundaries create a foundation of self-respect and personal empowerment.

Empowerment and Forward Movement

Breaking free from codependent patterns is an act of reclaiming personal power. As you heal the core wounds, you begin to rebuild your sense of self-worth from within. Here are some key steps to achieving empowerment and moving forward:

1. Develop Self-Love and Self-Compassion

Self-love isn’t a destination but a practice. It’s about learning to show yourself kindness, even when you make mistakes. As you heal, your self-worth grows, and you no longer rely on external validation to feel whole.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Emotions

In codependent relationships, we often try to manage or fix others’ emotions. Healing involves taking responsibility for your own emotional landscape and letting go of the need to control how others feel. Empowerment comes when you understand that your happiness is in your hands.

3. Embrace Autonomy and Growth

Healing from codependency allows you to experience the freedom of living on your own terms. You no longer feel the need to attach your identity or self-worth to others. Embrace this newfound autonomy and pursue personal growth, whether through self-discovery, new hobbies, or setting new goals.

4. Nurture Healthy Relationships

As you heal, you’ll naturally attract healthier relationships—ones based on mutual respect, emotional balance, and equal give-and-take. These relationships are built on clear communication, shared values, and healthy boundaries.

5. Celebrate Forward Movement

Healing is a journey, not a linear path. Celebrate the small victories and progress you make along the way. Whether it’s setting a new boundary, standing up for yourself, or choosing self-love over people-pleasing, each step forward is a step toward lasting empowerment.

Conclusion: The Gift of Self-Liberation

Breaking free from codependent relationships is a profound act of self-liberation. As you heal your core wounds, challenge old beliefs, and nurture self-love, you create space for personal empowerment and growth. The journey may be challenging, but it leads to a life where you are no longer bound by the need to please others at the expense of yourself. Instead, you walk forward with strength, autonomy, and the realisation that your worth comes from within.

Healing from codependency not only transforms your relationship with others but also deepens the most important relationship of all—the one you have with yourself.

Tamika Rose is a Somatic Trauma Therapist in Australia and has been a practitioner since 2005. She helps individuals to heal at the deepest of levels in order to come into wholeness and embody their true Soul self. She works online and has clients around the world. Book a free consult today to learn more about her deeply healing and transformative work.